How Our Thoughts Shape Our Reality
Our thoughts create our reality. This means that when we hold a pattern of thought in our consciousness, we inevitably experience that pattern in our lives. But many of us have been conditioned by negative messages that we received in childhood—messages that we unconsciously identified with and carried forward into adulthood. These patterns can stem from the words and actions of our parents, guardians, or even broader social environments. As children, we might have been told that we are too much of something or not enough of something else.
Too Much
For example, you might be holding on to messages that you are too much of something:
- Too sensitive
- Too loud
- Too fat
- Too masculine
- Too feminine
Not Enough
On the other hand, you might have internalized messages of “not enough” like:
- Not smart enough
- Not attractive enough
- Not athletic enough
- Not successful enough
- Not good enough
Overcoming Limiting Beliefs From Childhood and Society
These types of messages can create deep-seated beliefs that we carry into our adult lives, forming the foundation of our self-identity. But here’s the good news: we are not stuck. As adults, we have the power to retrain our minds and heal these outdated thought patterns. As queer people, we often experience the additional challenge of not having our identity fully embraced by the world around us. Whether it was our parents, the religion of our youth, or social settings, our authentic identity might have been questioned, suppressed, or outright rejected. Even today, we encounter loud voices that attempt to diminish our value and silence who we are. But we have the power to reclaim our truth and affirm our divine identity, which is the truth that you are enough!
Healing and Transforming Negative Patterns With New Thought Practices
In the New Thought movement, we often use affirmations and denials to reshape our consciousness. Affirmations are positive statements that help us align our thoughts with our divine identity, while denials help us release the false beliefs we’ve held onto for too long. For some deeply ingrained patterns, additional healing strategies may be necessary—like therapy, spiritual development through prayer and meditation, or engaging in supportive spiritual communities.
There are many people out there who don’t make these changes simply because they don’t know where to start. I know there were plenty of things in my own life that I postponed because I didn’t know how to begin. The idea of doing deep inner work can feel daunting. But in my experience, it’s not as hard as living with the consequences of old negative thinking.
Then there’s the “blame game,” or what my teacher used to call the “ain’t it awful game.” We’ve all gone through difficult situations, and it’s often easier to say, “They did this to me,” instead of taking ownership of how we’re experiencing life now. I’ve been there too. For years, I held myself back from forming certain types of relationships because I was afraid of being hurt again.
I figured out the romantic love thing early on, which is where a lot of people seem to get stuck on their journeys. But what I struggled with for much longer was building a strong sense of spiritual community. Even though I had the blessing of support from friends, I rarely engaged with spiritual communities.
For many queer folks, avoiding spiritual communities is completely understandable—especially in places like the United States, where many communities are steeped in Bible-thumping dogma. When you’ve been hurt by religious teachings all your life, why would you trust a community, no matter how much they claim to be different?
This is one of the reasons Folx with Faith exists—to create safe, inclusive, and healing spaces for queer people. We aren’t meant to be isolated and alone. On our spiritual paths, it’s essential to find like-minded people who can walk this journey with us.
Starting Where You Are: Lessons from Louise Hay’s Mirror Work
We start exactly where we are. The late Louise Hay, a pioneer in the self-help movement and author of the bestselling book You Can Heal Your Life, famously taught that the root of most of our problems is that we do not love ourselves. When she spoke of loving ourselves, she was referring to our true selves—our authentic identity as expressions of divine love.
Louise promoted a practice known as mirror work, encouraging people to look in the mirror each day and say, “I love you. I really love you.” The mirror doesn’t allow us to hide. It reflects back not just our physical appearance, but also the hidden beliefs we carry about ourselves. When we speak these words of love, all kinds of internal messages may come up—patterns of “too much” or “not enough” that we’ve been holding onto in our consciousness.
For many, starting with a simple “I love you” can feel too challenging. If that’s the case, you can start with a gentler approach, saying things like, “I am willing to love you,” “I am willing to learn to love you,” or even, “I am willing to learn to like you.” The key is consistency—it doesn’t matter where you start, as long as you keep showing up.
But how do we learn from this practice? By recognizing the patterns that are inconsistent with the truth of our being. For example, if you look in the mirror and your first reaction to “I love you” is self-criticism, then you’ve just uncovered valuable information about where your work lies.
Many people spend a lot of time trying to figure out what they need to work on. In my experience, mirror work can cut through that uncertainty. Let’s say you criticize your appearance when you look in the mirror. In our culture, with its airbrushed models and photoshopped images, it’s easy to develop unrealistic standards of what is “acceptable.” Some people might dismiss this as vanity, but the truth is that every part of you is an expression of divine love. If the mirror work brings up body image issues, then that’s your starting point!
For instance, if your first thought is, “I hate my hair,” you can create an affirmation like, “My hair is beautiful and perfect for me. I love how it looks, and I enjoy styling it in ways that make me feel good.” Or if the thought is, “I’m too fat,” you could affirm, “I am the perfect weight for this moment in my life. I am healthy, strong, and beautiful.”
Mirror work doesn’t just reveal thoughts about our physical selves. It can also uncover deeper patterns related to our inner identity. If you hear, “You’re not smart enough,” you might respond with, “I am intelligent and creative. I can do anything I set my mind to, and I am supported by infinite wisdom.” Or if you hear, “I’m too emotional,” you could affirm, “I am empathetic and kind. My emotions are a guidance system that keeps me safe and leads me toward what’s best for me.”
“Too many of us are unaware of that we have within us an inner wisdom that is always on our side. We don’t pay attention to our intuition, and we wonder why Life does not work well. Learn to listen to your inner voice. You do know exactly what to do.”
Affirmation: I am guided throughout this day in making right choices. Divine Intelligence continuously guides me in the realization of my goals. I am safe.
-Louise Hay, from the book “Life: Reflections on Your Journey”
Some of us may only have a few things to work on, while others—like myself—might find there’s a lifetime’s worth of layers to peel back. But as the spiritual teacher Lao Tzu is often quoted as saying, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” If you want to experience more of your authentic self—your divine identity—just choose a place to start and take it one step at a time.
In the book often used for thumping—and sometimes bashing—you’ll find the phrase, “Today is the day of salvation.” What does that mean? It means that the only time you can start making positive changes in your life is now.
Choosing to Heal and Experience Your Divine Inheritance Today
The past is over and done, and it only holds power over us if we give it power through our thinking and feeling patterns. It doesn’t matter if it was ten years ago or ten minutes ago, we can still start now. It doesn’t matter what we’ve done or what has been done to us. We can choose to take this moment and start our journey to aligning with our true authentic self. When we replay the past in our minds, we’re allowing it to shape our present and future. In New Thought traditions, this is what we mean by a “New Thought”—a thought that can interrupt old patterns and lead us to a better experience.
Every step you take toward accepting the truth of who you are is a step toward experiencing your divine inheritance: all the good life has to offer. Healing from our past makes us powerful. Some of the most influential people have gone through difficult times, leveraging those experiences to heal and grow. Challenges can either hold us back or become the very source of our strength.
I recently created a meditation for Folx with Faith to help listeners expand their experience of joy. In my experience, our true inheritance is about removing anything that blocks us from love, joy, and peace. These qualities are inherent within you, and all the love, joy, and peace you experience come from within.
Spiritual Community in Healing and Growth
If you’re looking for a spiritual community or want to develop one, Folx with Faith provides resources to support you on your journey. Be sure to sign up for our newsletter for updates on what we’re doing.
References & Resources for “Celebrating Your Divine Identity: Expression of Divine Love”
- About the Author
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James Masters (he/him) is based out of Unity of Springfield, where he supports the community through community service and technology. He is a contributing author for the bestselling anthologies, The Courageous Heart, Enduring Wisdom, & The Grateful Soul.
He is a personal coach focusing on spiritual and relational development. He is also deeply passionate about providing shelter, food, and clothing to the vulnerable population within our local community.
His knowledge of technology and compassion for others is a significant contribution to our community.
